


1-800-RUSLAPPIN

by Lunar_Viper



Category: Winx Club
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Divergent, Gen, Modern, No Plot/Plotless, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Viper/pseuds/Lunar_Viper
Summary: What happens when you put a 20-year-old, five 19-year-olds, and a 16-year-olds in a group chat? Nothing good, that's for sure.
Relationships: Andy & Bloom (Winx Club), Andy & Mitzi (Winx Club), Andy & Selina (Winx Club), Bloom & Mitzi (Winx Club), Bloom & Selina (Winx Club), Roxy & Andy (Winx Club), Roxy & Mitzi (Winx Club), Roxy & Selina (Winx Club), Roxy & The Winx (Winx Club), Selina & Mitzi (Winx Club)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1-800-RUSLAPPIN

**Author's Note:**

> DragonsProblemChild/BabySpice - Bloom  
> MamaMia - Roxy  
> DarkStoner - Andy  
> CrazySnakeLady - Selina  
> DollarTreePrep - Mitzi
> 
> Can I explain myself? Absolutely not.

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** has created  **We’re All Children of God Here**

**MamaMia** and 5 others have been added to  **We’re All Children of God Here**

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : 1-800- Are You Slapping

**MamaMia** and  **Stella** have entered  **We’re All Children of God Here**

**MamaMia** : Oh no

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Oh yes

**MamaMia** : Is this what Andy was warning me about?

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Most likely

**Stella** : Why does this exist? We already see each other every day, I don’t see why we need a group chat and even then, we could just call each other if we need to talk. 

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : I am aware but I have no clue how else to expose you all to Earth memes

**MamaMia** : Do they even have memes in Magix

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : They don’t so you better explain Mama Mia to them because I don’t own the movie and it doesn’t exist in Magix

**MamaMia** : That’s why you pirate it

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : I am already a role model to a whole fucking school, I don’t want to wreck it

**Stella** : Let’s not forget you’re a princess, a guardian fairy, and Roxy’s mentor

**Stella** : Also, what’s Mama Mia and a meme?

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Give me a day and I will explain

**Stella** : But Bloom, you keep on keeping stuff hidden from us! Like Andy. How’d you start dating, why’d you break up, what was he like when you two dated?

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Do not stoop to Mitzi’s level. She keeps bugging me about it 

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Anyways, in other news, we should probably go sleep and Roxy, please explain Mama Mia to them later because while I know the movie, I have no clue why you are “MamaMia”

**MamaMia** : Bloom, show them Mama Mia,  _ please  _

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : I will when I have the movie

**MamaMia** :  _ Good _

**Stella** : What are you two talking about

**MamaMia** : Don’t worry about it, Stella. We’ll explain in the morning. Just go to bed

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** :O̸̤͕̰͒̔͑͗r̸͕̯͂͐̏̐̌͘͘ ̴̡̫̽͛̓͛͜E̶̝̫͋̃̾͆̆̄̍̎̉l̶̢̼̘̻͉̟̫̽̎̄̇͌̽̽͜͝͠s̸̀̐ͅĕ̸̡̡̺͔͓̼͇̤͈͛̂́̌͑

**Stella** : Okay...

**MamaMia** and two others left  **We’re All Children of God Here**

*************

**MamaMia** has entered  **We’re All Children of God**

**MamaMia** : So anyways, Andy and one of my friends from freshman year always used to joke that my life will turn out to be like the movie Mama Mia and that’s been my username for the past year because of that

**MamaMia** : It’s also one of my favorite songs

**MamaMia** : Andy and I broke Bloom yesterday with this fact. 

**Aisha** has entered **We’re All Children of God**

**Aisha** : I’m starting to wonder if you and Bloom have proper sleep schedules. 

**MamaMia** : Absolutely not. I’m up by 6:30 most days for school but summer threw that out the window and now I either wake up at four or noon

**Aisha** : Okay then what about Bloom?

**MamaMia** : Mitzi and Selina spam photos of her and Andy from high school. 

**MamaMia** : @ **GreatDragonsProblemChild** Can I show them?

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** has entered  **We’re All Children of God**

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Absolutely not or I will change your name to [Redacted] because that’s what those photos are

**Aisha** : Who’s Selina?

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Childhood friend but she moved last year.

**MamaMia** : Andy would let me, he’s not ashamed

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Oh? Andy knows you have power over him, but I have more power over you. I didn’t get controlled, almost killed multiple times, or face some demon for a  _ child _ to threaten me. 

**Aisha** : And Mitzi of all people can?

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Well, Mitzi’s a demon that actually scares me 

**MamaMia** : Andy added me to your group chat! I have blackmail over you! I’m not scared of you!

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : No, that’s not allowed to be leaked! 

**MamaMia** : Bold words from the person who cries over half the movies she’s seen

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : I may have morals but they won’t stop me if you leak the photos

**MamaMia** : Are you, a nineteen year old adult, threatening a minor such as myself? The audacity!

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** : Shush you, or else

**GreatDragonsProblemChild** has left **We’re** **All Children of God**

**Aisha** : Why did Bloom just leave?

**MamaMia** : Selina and Mitzi have been pinging her for the past hour 

**Aisha** : I worry about all of you from Earth

*********

**CrazySnakeLady** : @ **BabySpice**

**DollarTreePrep** : @ **BabySpice**

**CrazySnakeLady** : @ **BabySpice**

**DollarTreePrep** : @ **BabySpice**

**CrazySnakeLady** : @ **BabySpice**

**DollarTreePrep** : @ **BabySpice**

**BabySpice** has entered  **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**BabySpice** : Guys,  _ please  _

**BabySpice** : It’s 5:37am

**DollarTreePrep** : Bloom, you may be the eternal death of me and I may still be mad at you for my party, but I expect so much better from you

**CrazySnakeLady** : Bloom, who is this  _ man _

**CrazySnakeLady** uploaded file  **Bloomplease**

**BabySpice** : My boyfriend?

**DollarTreePrep** : I can live that little blonde brat, but this man

**CrazySnakeLady** : Bloom, is he even a Himbo?

**DarkStoner** has entered  **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**DarkStoner** : Selina, why is that your first question?

**CrazySnakeLady** : Because I need to know if he’ll treat her right!

**CrazySnakeLady** : He looks like a player

**DarkStoner** : You say that about a lot of people who’ve tried to date Bloom

**CrazySnakeLady** : Well I mean it this time!

**DarkStoner** : That’s what you always say 

**BabySpice** : Can you and Mitzi stop? Y’all have been like this since Andy and I stopped dating

**DollarTreePrep** : Bold words from the one who replaced us with people from your “Brand new boarding school” and to be fair, you and Andy never got jealous of each other like your new boyfriend and your friends get if someone flirts with their boyfriends

**DarkStoner** : Mitzi, cool it. You’re the one who upset Stella but to be fair, you do have a point that Sky got jealous for no reason because Bloom and I are on good terms 

**MamaMia** has entered **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**MamaMia** : Andy, this has been bothering me since you added me to this hell hole, but are you an actual stoner

**DarkStoner** : Hey, it’s legal here and it’s not like I’m high on stage or at school

**CrazySnakeLady** : Roxy, are you  _ truly  _ surprised? He’s an ex-scene kid who now has an alternative rock band. 

**BabySpice** : Hey Mitzi, Selina switched schools and moved, but you aren’t on her about it

**DollarTreePrep** : Yeah but she also doesn’t die for a few months and reappear for a week before dying again

**BabySpice** :  _ I’m sorry _

**DollarTreePrep** : I’m also still bitter about my Halloween party

**BabySpice** : You set yourself up for that one

**DarkStoner** : She’s got a point. This is Bloom and she doesn’t do the bare minimum for anything

**DollarTreePrep** : Don’t remind me

**CrazySnakeLady** : Don’t @ me, but Bloom, what the fuck is with all the pink. I could respect you as a prep but not this

**BabySpice** : Okay, there was this weird transition from the end of my third year to when I met my biological parents that slowly made my wardrobe more pink mainly because Stella had some free reign. 

**CrazySnakeLady** :  _ What do you mean your “Biological Parents” _

**BabySpice** : I’m adopted… which actually makes sense now. No one in my parents family had blue eyes or red hair

**CrazySnakeLady** : @ **MamaMia 👀**

**MamaMia** : My hair is dyed for the fifteenth time 

**BabySpice** : Selina, can you give one(1) banana noodle a boop for me?

**DollarTreePrep** : Jeez, I’m not even a prep but you make me look like one nowadays 

**CrazySnakeLady** uploaded video file  **Oneboop**

**BabySpice** : Thank you, you are now forgiven for your crimes against the chat

**CrazySnakeLady** :  _ About damn time, Bloom _

**BabySpice** : I have to go, someone’s coming to my room

**BabySpice** has left **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**MamaMia** : Ms. Selina, would you kindly grace this chat with your lonk noodle and give them a boop

**DollarTreePrep** : Roxy,  _ please _ , do not turn into a second Bloom

**MamaMia** : But the snake! Let them be booped 

**DarkStoner** : Roxy has been here for only two weeks, but she’s already in love with all of your snakes. Are you a witch or something, Selina?

**CrazySnakeLady** : No, if I was a witch, then Bloom’s a fairy

**DarkStoner** : I’m surprised Bloom even likes your snakes considering she’s squeamish over so many other animals and how protective she is of Kiko 

**CrazySnakeLady** : She’s been my friend since 3rd grade. It’s impossible to be my friend if you don’t like snakes considering how many my family has. 

**CrazySnakeLady** : Though she hates seeing me feed them. She almost cried when she saw my older brother feed his. 

**DollarTreePrep** : I can tolerate your ball pythons, but all the others scare me

**CrazySnakeLady** : What about Naga

**DollarTreePrep** : She is an exception, but only because she’s small. 

**DarkStoner** : Didn’t you two also read almost all the fairytales in the library together every summer break until 6th grade?

**CrazySnakeLady** : Yes, and I’m sure it brings her more serotonin than her current boyfriend will. 

**BabySpice** has entered  **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**CrazySnakeLady** has been muted

**BabySpice** has left  **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**DollarTreePrep** : Wait, did Bloom really just mute  _ Selina? _

**DollarTreePrep** : I thought she was Bloom’s favorite!?

**BabySpice** has entered  **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**BabySpice** : Yes and if you aren’t careful, you’re next 

**BabySpice** : Now stop or you’re next 

**BabySpice** has left  **Magic Eight Ball Says No**

**MamaMia** : Did Bloom at one point ever threaten to not buy treats for you guys or anything like that if you ever chanted “Team Mom”

**DarkStoner** : No but she threatened to keep her dad’s homemade cookies from us and mute us for a week if we didn’t stop spamming the chat with “Chat Mom” 

**MamaMia** : Close enough

**BabySpice** has been changed to  **GroupMom**

**DarkStoner** : Absolutely not

**GroupMom has been changed to BabySpice**

**MamaMia** : Let me have fun :(

**DarkStoner** : No, do not change it, trust me

**MamaMia** : Why not?

**DarkStoner** : Because she took away nickname privileges and named Mitzi “[REDACTED]” for a week because Mitzi changed her name

  
**MamaMia** : Damn :/


End file.
